i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
