You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
