She is in my trunk
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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