Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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