Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
