Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
