I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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