Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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