Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
