I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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