some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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