I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
