The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize