so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
