Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
