Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone

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(510): View more from California

i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(505): View more from New Mexico

I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.

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(619): View more from California

Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni

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