I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
