"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week