Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza