when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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