At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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