He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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