every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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