i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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