How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
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What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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