I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
