her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
