This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
