Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
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