But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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