Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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