It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
