I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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