When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
