Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
