so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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