her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
