So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Found the puke drawer
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize