Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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