Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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