Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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