dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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