just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
