Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
