Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
