Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
