Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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