i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
