I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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