Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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