Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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