You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
