i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
