I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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