dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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