i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
