I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
