Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
