Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
