we're blogging at a bar
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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