Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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