Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
