u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
