when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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