Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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