So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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