weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
40s are totally the cure
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
